Textbook Hustle

Stop selling us your scraps

Photo by Evelyn Clement on Unsplash

Going back to college full-time when you’re almost 39-years-old is already nerve-wracking enough. We don’t need these textbook hustlers out here selling us their dog-eared refuse for half of what a new book costs. Yet here we are, scouring the search engines to shave another $5.23 off the rapidly accumulating price tag of stepping foot in a college classroom.

I have some really serious questions for the desperate sellers hawking these ratty old books after opening my most recent “Good — Used” purchase.

1. How many levels of used is this book?
2. Are your school books stored inside the shower, or just next to it?
3. When was the last time you washed your hands after eating?
4. Who taught you that books double as beverage coasters?
5. Are you actually a dog?
6. Maybe you’re a moth.
7. No, really — were you chewing on these pages?
8. If you highlight the entire book, does it still mean anything?
9. Why is there something brown and crusty between the first few pages?
10. No don’t answer that.

Anyway, here’s your 2-star rating for being clever enough to convince me to buy this book-like object from you.